What bad parenting looks like, sounds like and feels like to everyone

For anyone who did not previously read what is below, here is yet one more reason why I write and say exactly what I think, no matter how much it ruffles feathers.

http://gawker.com/elite-boarding-school-student-accused-of-rape-says-seni-1724547400?utm_campaign=socialflow_gawker_facebook&utm_source=gawker_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

 

 

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http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/01/nyregion/01about.html?hpw

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/27/us/27sexting.html?hp

As I have always known, money can not buy good judgement or taste.  If anything, money allows one to have other people apply their ‘taste’ to your home decorating and money allows you to purchase the services of a better, shrewder attorney.

In the case of parenting, money is (fortunately) not necessary for being a good parent.  As is the case with Herbert E. Nass, Jodi Nass and their son, their money would be better spent on intensive family counseling than a wasted law suit trying to cast blame on others for their own sons poor choices.

How on earth could any parent, with any consciousness whatsoever, allow their son to have had video conferencing with a topless female, keep said video conferencing on sons computer and hope NOTHING would happen.  This misconception is a bit passe’ in the world of technology we live in.

First off, would it have been different if their son was downloading porn or video chatting with a ‘certified’ prostitute?  Probably not, it would have been appropriate fees for service and that is all it would be.  Should their son be keeping pornography on a computer which other students might see? Of course not.  Of course, Mr. Nass may have been taking peeps at the video call so why would he want it removed?  Is it appropriate to teach a 10th Grader to objectify women?  Why would Mrs. Nass want her son to objectify women unless she allows her husband and son to do it to her?

Second – why would parents allow/encourage their son to humiliate/objectify ANY female? Imagine how this young lady feels after having been ‘literally’ exposed to almost the whole school? Their son has no concept of what discretion might be or should be.

Nass, the son, made some bad choices and his parents are now trying to cover the bad choices rather than hold their son accountable. It is apparent bad choices are perhaps a way of life for them and they have sufficient money to ‘cover’ the errors.  There is nothing anyone else did after their son had the video conference with the topless young woman that can change the outcome. What he did was wrong (whether she was consenting or not- I doubt they would be happy if their own daughter had phone chatted topless with a young man) on all counts.  The fact that he got caught at doing bad things is secondary to bad choices.

College and university applications/acceptance?  I am thinking the Nass parents would be well served to have their son do community service and get counseling to demonstrate he really has a conscience. Colleges and universities look favorably on those behaviors and not so much on trying to buy ones way into a college, even though the Bush (President) family has managed this trick quite well.

The Nass family is an interesting study in money – Mr. Nass changed his will.  I am positive Horace Mann School will be the better for not receiving money from anything so tainted.  How would one ever explain being paid money to ‘cover up’ a young man and his indiscretions when that is NOT what school is even about?

Hopefully the judge will throw this out as a frivolous waste of money and time for the court.  I would think Horace Mann School would by now get rid of the son/family. I can’t imagine desiring to send a child to a school where parents pay for covering indiscretions…….it would always make me wonder what the real agenda of the school was about.

Post Script on 30 October 2010 http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/30/opinion/30blow.html?hp

It would appear that little boys and young adult males, particularly at religious private schools, demonstrate behavioral characteristics of their parents as these behaviors are learned at home well before children go into the classroom.

And once again, parents have the opportunity to amaze the rest of us with what they are teaching their children:

http://www.mercurynews.com/scott-herhold/ci_20504254/herhold-memo-sequoia-high-dad-let-kids-face

Updated 9 January 2012- I am not sure what to add except to state it is clear in what I wrote above and from the video URL below, young men learn a behavior due to believing what is taught at home, in the community and what is ACCEPTED.

http://www.upworthy.com/a-horrifying-thing-happened-in-ohio-not-being-creepy-could-prevent-it-from-happe?c=ufb1

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/sexting-shame-and-suicide-20130917?utm_source=wired&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=partner

Updated 18 September 2013 – Each time I think there will not be more to add to this piece, something worse ends up happening.  Clearly the Nass family and many others believe wealth can buy ones way out of inappropriate, immature, and suicide causing actions.  We as a society need to examine what is so wrong with us we are willing to cause this much pain – pain which radiated out out from a family, through a school, into a community and made an international magazine.  I am nauseated from what I read and I am crying.  I am not sure why we do not expect parents to help their children develop a sense of right and wrong, pride in good behavior and to feel shame.  Maybe the Nass family can explain as they took this behavior to an art form.

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